On Professional Rejection

I didn't get the job. I am really disappointed.

My rational self knows that it was likely due to factors beyond my control (the decision could have been made for a million different reasons and likely has nothing to do with me). Perhaps the person they selected was slightly more qualified, maybe they had a personal or a professional connection, or maybe they just interviewed better than me. If this were happening to a friend- I would tell the friend that this doesn't diminish their worth, that they should be so proud they made it to the final round, that they shouldn't let rejection define them, and that they will find something better soon.

My irrational self feels totally rejected. That rejection spirals into not feeling good enough, into feeling like a fuck up, and my self esteem takes a hit.

Why do I allow my self worth to be defined externally? What would happen if I tried to choose to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend- with hope, compassion, and love? Why is my default to be so hard on myself?

Seems like I have a lot of work to do in the self esteem/ emotional resilience department!

Fun Dare #1: Have Fun At a Job Interview

From a previous post: "I started a new project where I asked a bunch of friends to dare me to do something fun (because everyone needs more fun in their lives and I need to lighten up) and then I'll blog about each experience (I'm always looking for writing inspiration). I told everyone that I would do whatever they dared me to do- the only stipulations were that I won't be naked in public and I won't jump out of an airplane- otherwise I'm game." 

Dare #1: Have fun at a job interview

I actually had fun at a job interview earlier this week! I survived a 3.5 hour interview with seven different people and it actually wasn't that bad. It may have helped that:

• I feel super qualified for this job;

• I had mysterious abdominal pains - so I was distracted worrying about that;

• I currently have a job (I'm not satisfied with my current job but it is not an awful situation)- so should I not get this job, I'll still be employed;

• I had already had several phone interviews at this point, and this in-person interview was the final round- so I knew they liked me;

• I prepared 

That being said, I am normally a nervous wreck at job interviews. I took a deep breath and really enjoyed myself. By relaxing a bit I probably came off as more confident. We shall see what happens, but I am happy I tried! I have been working on my self confidence lately and I think this experience really helped. I put out a confident yet fun vibe and that is what was mirrored back to me from the interviewers. I will definitely try this again! Life is too short to be sooooo serious!

Dare me to have fun...

I recently realized that I have become very serious. I read super serious books, I listen to serious podcasts, and I watch crime dramas. I find myself laughing less easily, and getting more easily irritated with strangers (like the person in front of me in the checkout line at the grocery store who is taking forever!!). I am sweating the small stuff! Intellectually, I know that the little irritants are silly and not worth getting upset over, but in the moment I left them get to me. I've decided that I need to make some changes!

I started a new project where I asked a bunch of friends to dare me to do something fun (because everyone needs more fun in their lives and I need to lighten up) and then I'll blog about each experience (I'm always looking for writing inspiration). I told everyone that I would do whatever they dared me to do- the only stipulations were that I won't be naked in public and I won't jump out of an airplane- otherwise I'm game. 

So far the suggestions folks have responded with are: 

• take a salsa dancing lesson, 
• take a cooking class or motorcycle repair class or home repair class, 
• walk around Chicago telling strangers embarrassing stories about myself and see if they will share some with me, 
• I was dared to have fun on an upcoming job interview, 
• And I was dared to go camping alone! 

I'm still waiting for 7 people to get back to me so this could get interesting!