I didn't get the job. I am really disappointed.
My rational self knows that it was likely due to factors beyond my control (the decision could have been made for a million different reasons and likely has nothing to do with me). Perhaps the person they selected was slightly more qualified, maybe they had a personal or a professional connection, or maybe they just interviewed better than me. If this were happening to a friend- I would tell the friend that this doesn't diminish their worth, that they should be so proud they made it to the final round, that they shouldn't let rejection define them, and that they will find something better soon.
My irrational self feels totally rejected. That rejection spirals into not feeling good enough, into feeling like a fuck up, and my self esteem takes a hit.
Why do I allow my self worth to be defined externally? What would happen if I tried to choose to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend- with hope, compassion, and love? Why is my default to be so hard on myself?
Seems like I have a lot of work to do in the self esteem/ emotional resilience department!
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